bua.

I remember walking off the plane, filled with red cloth chairs and stewards that kept giving my sister and I candy. I remember my ma gathering all of our stuff as we were too small to help her out. My next memory is a garage door opening with a smiling face of a small little woman waiting for us patiently, smiling.

That woman is my bua (aunt), Anita Seth.

She's my first memory when I first entered Canada. It's strange how all of my younger memories are of India. It was a pivotal period in my life that I will share in another post. This post is focusing on what led me to speak about my bua.

The annual Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation CIBC Run for the Cure walk was this past weekend- Sunday September 30th. I remember being so happy last year because I was walking for a personal cause, my bua - who was in remission at the time!

Right after the walk, I immediately called her and started tearing. It was a moment that I won't forget. Not because she fought cancer but because it was my bua. The person who yells at me when I do something wrong, laughs at all my jokes and is a pure child at heart.

This year was a bit different- or rather alot different. This year I am not in the same position as I was. Bua's cancer has come back. We found out this past summer. I do not often show to others how much it has affected me,  but each and every day my heart aches. Aches for her to get better.

The day we all found out that it had come back, our entire family (consisting of my sister, ma, papa, both cousins, sister-in-law and uncle...and of course bua) spent the weekend with her. I could not sleep for weeks. It definitely has to do with the fact that I cannot imagine my life without her and never want to.

She is so dear to me.

I always think to myself how much I complain over the smallest things. I know it is human nature to do so- to feel that your life issues are far more important than anything else. But when you look at the 'big picture' its really not so bad.

I guess this post is to portray in words how proud I am of her. The reason being is how strong she really is. People often say, "that person is so strong" I never REALLY understood what that meant until now. She never complains and acts as if nothing happened to her. Though I know, well our while family knows that the fear of death is with her, but being around others is what keeps her smiling and encourages her to continue to be strong and fight her body off of this disease.

She will be a miracle. I know she will.... After all, she is my bua.

Left: Neera Bhabi (Sister-in-law),Pupaji (uncle), Bua, Rishi Bhaiya (cousin), Hershu Bhaiya (cousin)

Patrick(childhood friend)  and I at the walk.

the beautiful people supporting.

 

embrace.

My cousin, Joey sent me an article today about a Sikh woman standing up for herself so humbly after being humiliated by someone else.

Please read it first before you continue to read my post:
http://jezebel.com/5946643/reddit-users-attempt-to-shame-sikh-woman-get-righteously-schooled

It is beautiful what Balpreet had to say and the fact that the person who wrote those comments about her ACTUALLY apologized.

Everyone makes mistakes in life and many people say things without realizing. I have done it so many times where I don't even think about what I say or how much it would affect others in my life. All I do know is the loving people in my life help me to be a better person and luckily I have learned at a very early age to surround myself with genuine people.

Life is about learning, so let's continue to learn, be less judgmental and embrace people from all walks of life.

PS: This was a nice story to read. 

growing.

A special person in my life brought up the Marc Lepine case. I actually never heard of this case until yesterday. Basically, he was a 25-year old man, born and raised in Montreal, Canada who murdered fourteen women who were engineering students. Why you may ask? Because he did not believe women should be engineering students, or anything of that matter but rather slaves to men.

After he killed the women, he ended up killing himself blaming feminists for his violence against the fourteen women. Might I add this was in 1989 when this took place. I was 2 years old, enjoying my life in India. (my only memories of my childhood were when I was that young, weird, hey?) Anyways, a lot has changed since that incident. More and more women are trying to break the glass ceiling and growing professionally alongside men.

The way men think is changing too, especially in my generation. I've spoken to so many men that love it when women are ambitious and educated and why wouldn't they be?
 
The reason why I brought this topic up is because so many women in my life, including me at times, have to hide who we really are. Now this doesn't even have to do with personality but hide what we do, so that others perceive us in a "perfect" light. By others I mean men. Many women change when they are around men. I see it everyday -- and now I question, why? Why do we put on a show of who we are not but with our girlfriends we are who we are?

Does it have to do with the psychology behind it? Men and women are different (obviously) and we have different connections but why do we slightly change when we initially meet the opposite sex. Eventually people get comfortable with one another but that initial meet and greet is so ... different. Noticing the difference in my own actions, I have made it a point to act the same both with men and women. Because honestly speaking, who the hell really cares? Plus age/experience DOES make you wiser- or at least I think it has.

So I leave this Thursday afternoon with a question/thought for you...Why is it so hard to be yourself when you find who you are? Or is the search continuous till the day you die?

My own opinion: the search is continuous till the day you leave this earth :)

balance.

I created a collage that had an Indian background theme for my Image Editing and Web Design class. It was my first time using Photoshop to this extent but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I hope all of you do too.

Priya Tandon 

keep it simple.patient.kind

I do not want this post to come off personal but every post I write is so I don't think it matters anymore.
I know I am not the only one feeling that the last two weeks have been a mix of emotions, fumbled with trying to stay organized, happy both in school and my personal life.

I have realized a new attribute about myself since school has begun- I lack patience. I admired that about myself when I used to have it, but slowly it is deteriorating. I can honestly say I hate it, but I am not doing anything to change it. I guess it's another item on my list that I need to work on.

Enough of my negativity! I am very excited to show you some of the pictures I have taken thus far. I have been learning a lot from the photography class I am taking, with the help of a wonderful classmate of mine who is incredibly knowledgeable in the field.

I hope you enjoy it and my motto hopefully for the entire month/year is to keep it simple, be patient and very kind. 

again and again.

Remember my "Vagina" post? (skin lightening cream for women in their vagina area).

Well you won't believe this or maybe you will but one of my classmates sent me a link about "Indian Vaginal Tightening Gel". Yes, they have a new invention where a woman's vagina tightens making her feel like a virgin again!

I can't help but laugh in this matter. Maybe because I think it's so incredibly ludicrous that I take it as a joke or maybe the fact that there are companies out there that ARE stupid enough to make a product like this.

When I read that article, all I could think of was the fact that, the people who invented this product are most likely paedophiles themselves. Like, when they sat down and decided to do this, what did they think? "Oh, so women feel loose? So let's tighten them up"

Ultratech owned by Rishi Bhatia - the maker of tightening gel said "It's a unique and revolutionary product which also works towards building inner confidence in a woman and boosting her self esteem," says Mr Bhatia, adding that the goal of the product is to "empower women". (BBC News)

As a woman, I ask myself how will a vaginal tightening cream empower me? I can't seem to come up with any answers, can you?  Even if it is to empower women that have been sexually exploited ....how will it empower them? In my opinion, the only way they will feel empowered is if they feel good about themselves within. It is all in the mind-beauty is all mental not physical.

Furthermore, Bhatia adds that it makes a woman feel 18 again. Well, if he did his research, majority of women lose their virginity well before 18, so I don't know what audience he is speaking to and why he feels the need to bring a patriarchal view back to a culture that is trying to evolve from that?

It is very mind-boggling. Personally, I feel they should come out with more awareness campaigns accepting women for being who they are instead of shunning them for not being virgins.

Come on people it's the 21st century! Please expand your minds not close it.

Video of the "Indian Vaginal Tightening Gel"
http://jezebel.com/5934171/indian-vaginal-tightening-gel-will-make-you-feel-like-a-virgin

 

reality.

I need to apologize again to you all for my absence this past month. It seems as if my personal life has taken over!

But I am back in business and wanting to discuss so much with you all. One of the hot topics this month is Aishwariya Rai and her weight gain. (It was one of the trending Facebook articles). Rai is a famous Bollywood actor who is 38 years old and just had a baby girl with Abhishek Bachchan (famous Bollywood actor). You can search more on her if you want on Google.

The point of this post is the superficial life most celebrities think they have to live by. This being the fact that when a female celebrity has a child, it seems that it is their 'duty' to make sure they look super skinny right after the baby is born.

I'm not a mother but I am certain that if/when I become one, my goal will not be to look super skinny but to be healthy and focus on my child and family. That is exactly what Rai did. The media has criticized her so much on her weight gain that it lost focus on what is REAL and what is not.

There is so much emphasis on maintaining your body, making sure you don't gain any weight, looking a perfect 10/10 (whatever that means) on a regular basis. It continues to marginalize women and focus on what we lack than what we don't. Hence, why I am so happy to see a woman of such power present herself in a REALISTIC way to others.

I am sure it has empowered many women out there to focus on themselves on the way they WANT to and not on the way other people want them too.

In addition, I am glad she continued to work after her child was born, to show women the reality that gaining weight after having a child is ACCEPTABLE!

Like come on! Is there an actual reason why we turn non-issues into issues? Is that all the media craves? Is that all people crave?

US WEEKLY - Rai looks beautiful. Get over it people.