ATTENTION: THIS POST IS NOT MEANT TO PUT MARRIAGE DOWN. I BELIEVE IT IS BEAUTIFUL BUT IT IS NOT MEANT FOR ME AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE.
I've hit that year, stage and point in life where many of my friends are engaged, planning there weddings or already married.
I can honestly say I am definitely not at that stage to be
married. But then does one have to be at a certain stage to marry? Or does it
happen naturally?
As for my personal choice, I would prefer to be married at a
later age. An age where I am fully capable of taking care of myself and another
individual.
1. Independence - most women love their independence, not
saying when you’re married you don't have any. But most often things change.
You rely more on your significant other than you would single or sometimes in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I guess it has to do with having more responsibilities. You are somewhat responsible for another person. Actually you are.
2. Money- you have more money to spend on yourself. I'm the
type of person who likes spending on others, especially my companion but I'm
sure when I'm married I will have to budget. So yes, budgeting is the key as to why I'm not married yet (ha). Plus I want to live a comfortable life with my
significant other. I don’t want to ‘struggle’.
3. Alone Time- I love my privacy. I like having time to
myself to finish work or take a nap or just sit and read. I enjoy time with
myself and I see no harm in it. I feel it is very important for married, non-married,
basically everyone to have some alone time. It keeps one sane.
Now, I want to make it clear that being married is a beautiful gift to have. Sharing your life with someone you love is simply incredible BUT personally I am not at that stage. Maybe one day I will but until then I choose not to be married... YET.
I'm also going to post an article from The Economist called "The Flight from Marriage: Asians are marrying later, and less, than in the past.This has profound implications for women, traditional family life and Asian politics."
Let me know what you guys think. I would love to hear your opinion on marriage.
Enjoy!
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| No marriage for me YET. |
I'm also going to post an article from The Economist called "The Flight from Marriage: Asians are marrying later, and less, than in the past.This has profound implications for women, traditional family life and Asian politics."
Let me know what you guys think. I would love to hear your opinion on marriage.
Enjoy!
I understand all three of your sentiments here, as well as your overarching idea of not wanting to be married yet. However, I would argue your second and third points as things that you have to have/can't have when married.
ReplyDeleteDepending on your situations before and after being married, it can be more economically feasible to get married than to both have separate apartments/vehicles/insurance/whatever. This of course depends on the individual person.
Also, I think it's important to budget no matter what stage of life you're in. A budge should set you free with money, not tie you down. You know what you have and where it's going - very empowering - and if you want to designate money to freely spend on people you love or yourself, you can do so.
And as for alone time, I think that's certainly possible - and very healthy - when you're married, as long as you communicate. Saying that you need some alone time or figuring out when that would work is a great idea. Even if you're a huge people person or are super intensely in love with someone, time to yourself is still important and healthy.
I do see what you mean about independence. You do have to make decisions together, which is different from making them yourself. Usually this is a joy but sometimes it would be easier to just do things your own way.
As with your post, this is not meant to argue with you. Obviously if you're not in that place yet, don't get married! Just some ideas to build off of yours.
Thanks Jenna for the comment.
ReplyDeleteYes I do agree with you that it comes down to communication. Communicating with your significant other as to what you want and need in life.
However, don't most married couples have more than one vehicle, etc... Plus if you chose to have a family, then there are more expenses. But that's a totally different issue.
Speaking strictly on marriage, only two people then yes you are right.
And yeah SO not ready for marriage yet. But seems like your loving it :) Happy for you!
To me, marriage seems outdated - like the telegraph. There is really no point to getting married. Common law gives couples the same basic legal status of being married. It comes down to this: If you love the person...be with them. If that's your base line mentality then i'm not sure how a piece of paper has any relevence. Besides, marriage doesn't even include everyone. Gay and Lesbian couples cannot get married in many places. In this new world, we aught to put our focus on the person, rather than silly vows that can (and do) get broken everyday. Essentially it's a beyond irrelevent tradition...Unless we are bring back the telegraph.
ReplyDeletePriya, that's true about vehicles etc. It does totally depend on the situation.
ReplyDeleteMike, I think it's more about the commitment than the piece of paper, with far more relevance and importance than a lot of us realize. Marriage is saying that you love someone enough that even when you're not "feeling" it, you're going to stick with them.
But Jenna, a couple can commit to one another without getting married. Gay and Lesbian couples have done it for years/centuries due to draconian church traditions/beliefs/fear-mongering. I am all for a couple committing to one another through thick and thin...actually I believe that is very important. However "marriage" is simply not the only way a couple can make that level of commitment to one another. They can simply have a conversation. In reality, marriage is not what keeps people together. marriage does not mean you love someone enough even when you are not feeling it. That is something a couple achieves over time through common interests, goals, mutual respect, history etc. Cut the middle man out. It has no relevance. If it were never "invented" people would still pair up and live happily ever after.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your pose Pryia, and with Mike generally. I don't really see the point in marriage honestly. I know a lot of unmarried couples. I think that when you find someone, starting a life together will happen naturally- getting a piece of paper to say it is "official" seems a little bit silly.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should have to decide when you're "ready" to be married. Meeting someone, moving in together, and being happy in the long term is a natural progress that happens on its own. Some people want to get married because of family traditions, but I would be fine just being loved and having a companion. A signed paper doesn't change or create anything new.