Thursday 6 December 2012

abuse.

For the last year I've been following the Maple Batalia case. Batalia was shot to death at Simon Fraser University in Vancouver, BC in September of last year. The men alleged of murdering her was ex-boyfriend, Gurjinder (Gary) Dhaliwal and his friend Gursimar Bedi.

Batalia was only 19 when she passed away. She lost her life at such a young age and for what reason?

I was reading many of the comments on articles written about the case. Some defended Dhaliwal, saying he was a quiet and a shy guy and others would say he would yell at Batalia on the phone behind closed doors.

I don't know neither ones personality but I know from personal experience that when you're that young you have no idea that you're being abused; physically or emotionally unless you're out of that situation.

This is based on my personal experience. I was emotionally abused a couple of years ago and it wasn't that the person called me negative names but rather put me through an emotional roller coaster where I almost lost my family, friends and myself. I was focused on fixing things with that specific relationship that I never focused on myself, my education or being my best self. Of course, with every experience, you learn and become a stronger, better individual- or strive to be.

Unfortunatly, Batalia never had the opportunity many men and women should. I find abuse a complex term. When I used to think of abuse, I thought of physical violence and pain. But when I look back at my life and experiences I realize that abuse is more than just that. It's a constant battle of having to conform your morals and ideals to match the other person's. And for what? NOTHING. It's all for nothing because at the end of the day as human-nature is, you move on and so does your past.

That's why it's so important to surround yourself with people that help you to be grounded and to find your inner-self (as hard as that can be). I'm so fortunate to have people around me who deeply love me and I finally have the mind to appreciate it.

It wasn't easy posting this. It has to do with the fact I always used to say I would NEVER be one of those women who would be emotionally abused but I became that person for a bit. I thank everyone who helped me realize that and contined to fight for me to be a better me.

For anyone who knows someone who's being emotionally or physcially abused, don't ignore it. Whether it's someone yelling on the phone, embarassing someone on the street or cheating on someone. It's abuse.




Maple Batalia (1992-2012)



 

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